013 Build Your Network Before You Need It

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Networking makes many of us uncomfortable. I've paused outside an event to give myself a pep talk more than once.

It can be the awkward glance while someone reads your name tag, forced small talk, tapping on phones to share contact details, or someone asking what you do before they make eye contact.

In our second conversation with Brian Sullivan, Executive Director of the Big Design conference, the topic shifted from empathy and research into community: how we build it, why we avoid it, and why it matters so much for people working in product, UX design, research, strategy, and modern digital work.

The central idea is simple but powerful:

Community is not something you start building only when you need help.

Community is something you practice, contribute to, learn from, and nurture over time. As J put it:

“There are three ways to get good at anything, and it is practice, practice, practice; research, research, research; network, network, network.” — J Schuh

And of those three, networking is often the one that feels the hardest.

Getting Out of the Bubble

Brian introduced one of the most memorable acronyms of the episode: GOOB, which stands for “get out of the building.”

“If I give your listeners one piece of advice, be a GOOB. Get out of the building.” — Brian Sullivan

If you work from home, Brian added a companion version: GOH, or “get out of the house.”

Many of us spend our days inside bubbles: our company bubble, our team bubble, our product area, our role, our Slack channels, our roadmap, our recurring meetings, or our own heads. For introverts, that bubble can feel safe and productive. Brian even described how much joy he gets from the smallest creative bubble possible: being inside his own head, writing, thinking, and working.

But if we never leave that bubble, our thinking can shrink.

We will miss how other people are solving problems. We miss emerging patterns outside our organization. We miss the informal wisdom that lives in hallway conversations, conference sessions, meetups, coffee chats, and communities where people talk honestly about what they are trying, what failed, and what they are learning.

For product managers and UX professionals, that matters because our work depends on understanding systems beyond ourselves.

If we only know our company’s way of working, we may mistake it for the only way.

Community Is a Problem-Solving Engine

One of J’s strongest reflections was that Big Design conference is not simply a design conference. It is a problem-solving conference.

When we hear stories from researchers, designers, developers, product leaders, educators, artists, strategists, and technologists, we are not just collecting inspiration. We are expanding our library of possible approaches.

“If you stay in your bubble, you are robbing yourself not only of the connection of other amazing problem solvers... but they’re solving problems in different ways that you could learn and grow from.” — J Schuh

That is especially valuable in product and UX work because our problems rarely fit neatly inside one discipline.

A product roadmap issue may actually be a communication issue.
A UX challenge may be a stakeholder alignment issue.
A research gap may be a community knowledge gap.
A career challenge may be a visibility and relationship challenge.

Community gives us access to people who have seen different versions of the same puzzle.

And sometimes that outside perspective is exactly what helps us see the hidden door in the wall.

Networking Is Not Only for Job Loss

One of the most practical, and slightly uncomfortable, parts of the conversation was about people who only show up to community when they suddenly need something.

J and Brian have both seen this happen: someone loses a job, appears at a meetup for the first time, and treats the room like a job-placement machine.

The problem is not that people need help. We all need help.

The problem is expecting community to work like an emergency vending machine.

“Community is not, when I need something, now suddenly you’re important.” — J Schuh

If we only build relationships when we are in crisis, we are asking for trust before we have made relationship deposits. J and Brian talked about the “emotional piggy bank” of relationships: we make deposits through support, curiosity, generosity, showing up, helping, listening, and connecting others. Later, when we need help, the relationship has roots.

For product, design, and research professionals, this is not just career advice. It is leadership advice.

Trust built before pressure holds up better during pressure.

Transactional, Transitional, and Transformational Relationships

Brian offered a helpful framework for thinking about professional relationships: transactional, transitional, and transformational.

A transactional relationship has a clear exchange. A sponsor provides pizza and space for a meetup. The meetup brings people into the sponsor’s environment. Everyone understands the exchange. Brian emphasized that transactional is not automatically bad. Healthy professional ecosystems include transactions.

A transitional relationship happens when someone is growing, shifting, entering a new career phase, contributing more, stepping back, moving, having a child, caring for family, or navigating change.

A transformational relationship goes deeper. It happens when someone helps, mentors, opens a door, creates confidence, or gives another person room to grow.

Brian captured the spirit of community leadership beautifully when he said the three best words an organizer can hear are: “Can I help?”

That phrase shifts someone from attendee to contributor. And contribution is often where belonging begins.

How Introverts Can Network Without Performing Extroversion

Metsy opened the episode by naming something many listeners probably feel: building community can be challenging for introverts, especially when product, design, research, and development work already demands so much focus. Brian’s advice was practical and compassionate.

You do not have to walk into a crowded room and become a human fireworks display. You can start small.

Try a small step:

• Give yourself permission just to attend.
• Show up early before the room gets loud.
• Talk to the organizer or volunteer.
• Ask, “Can I help?”
• Introduce yourself to one to three people.
• Bring a friend or find a friendly anchor.
• Follow up with coffee, lunch, or a simple conversation.
• Ask what other communities are worth exploring.
• Repeat slowly.

Brian also offered a simple introduction template:

“Hello, my name is [name]. I am a [role]. The last cool project that I worked on was [project]. On this project I learned these three things. How cool is that?”

For someone who feels shy, the same template can become questions:

• What is your name?
• What do you do?
• What is the last cool project you worked on?
• What did you learn from it?

Authentic Curiosity Beats Contact Collecting

J made a sharp distinction between authentic connection and extractive networking.

We have all seen the person who moves through a room handing out cards, scanning for usefulness, and leaving conversations the second they do not detect immediate value.

That is not community. That is networking cosplay with a sales quota stapled to it.

“The secret to networking: to have a genuine curiosity and desire to connect.” — J Schuh

People can feel the difference.

They know when we are curious.
They know when we are hunting.
They know when we are listening.
They know when we are waiting to pitch.

For product and UX professionals, this should feel familiar. Good networking has the same root system as good research: curiosity, presence, listening, pattern recognition, and respect for the other person’s context.

Make It Playful When It Feels Scary

One of Metsy’s most useful additions was the idea of turning networking into a small game when social anxiety shows up.

Instead of walking into a room and thinking, “I have to network,” she reframed it as finding one kind face, earning a “connect one” badge, then maybe going for “connect five.”

“Find ways to have fun with it if you’re someone who’s dealing with walking into a room of strangers.” — Metsy Rose

For some people, networking advice can accidentally sound like: “Just become a different personality.” But the better invitation is: find a version that feels doable, humane, and maybe even a little silly.

A tiny dopamine badge beats dread anyday.

Questions for Reflection

1. Are we building community before we need help, or only reaching out when we are in crisis?
2. Where are we staying inside professional bubbles that may be limiting our growth?
3. How can we contribute to product, design, research, or strategy communities instead of only consuming from them?

Key Takeaways

• Community is part of career resilience, not an optional extra.
• Product, design, research, and strategy professionals grow faster when they leave their silos.
• Networking works best when it is rooted in authentic curiosity and contribution.
• Introverts do not need to become extroverts to build meaningful professional relationships.
• Strong communities create psychologically safe spaces for growth, mentorship, and problem-solving.

Final Thoughts

The more we talked with Brian, the clearer this became: community is not just a career tactic.

It is a way of staying human in work that can easily become isolating.

When we get out of the building, we get access to more than contacts. We get stories, perspective, laughter, mentorship, encouragement, and new ways of solving old problems.

And for those of us working in product, UX, research, strategy, and digital leadership, that matters more than ever.

Because no one builds a meaningful career, or meaningful products, entirely alone.

So maybe the next step is not to “network harder.”

Maybe it is simpler than that.

Show up.
Listen well.
Ask better questions.
Offer help.
Find your people.

Then keep showing up.

– Metsy
Co-host, Pixels & Priorities

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Connect on LinkedIn: Metsy Rose | J Schuh | Pixels & Priorities